The Day After (from the eyes of someone who can't have kids)

Mother's Day is a bear for me and for thousands of other women.  I have a Mom and she is AMAZING!  I don't want to discount that.  I just want to point out that there are women from all walks of life who are unable to bear children.  Yes there are fertility treatments, but they didn't work for my husband and me, and they aren't successful for many couples.  I am absolutely an advocate for adoption and have a very dear friend who is adopted.  My husband and I attended a seminar on adoption and we spoke with the director before putting in time (on both our part and the agency's) and was open about my mental illness.  At that point, I was in remission, but she essentially said that we'd be rejected because of my bipolar and it would be more difficult to be approved when we applied later.  So yeah, I am incredibly sensitive to Mother's Day.  I cannot and will not ever be a mother, other than my furbabies.  My husband and I will not have anyone to pass down antiques which have been in the family for generations.  Our lines will be the end.  So yes, while I'm sensitive to many things, this is an exceptionally difficult season for me.

I am taking an excerpt from this blog.  The entire blog post is really worth reading.  I also posted it to my other blog but felt it was something that should be put out there.  Too many women are pained by Mother's Day and it's due, in part, from ignorance.  I hope to use this arena to hopefully make some changes in that ignorance.  So, please read this and please don't hesitate to share!

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To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.

5/12/15 Addendum: I am so sorry that the font was so small and have corrected that problem.  Also, I apologize for the annoying background from where I pasted from the other blog, but I have no control over that.  I hope it wasn't too bothersome.