Ridiculous

Yes, this is ridiculous.  I continue to get to my top weight.  I'm disgusted by my appearance and the clothes I have to wear... none of which are flattering.  My brain is just all screwy and it's like I'm driven to eat.  None of it really matters, does it?  I mean, I'm too fat to be intimate with my husband but other than that, it's just worthless me in my big, fat body.  Yeah, I'm tired of it, but don't have the energy to do anything about it and wonder what it matters anyway.  Hmph!