Open for questions

Don't forget to enter to win a swift and ball winder. To enter, go here.

You may remember that I sent an open letter to the President a while back. Well, apparently he is listening. Given the comments section of this blog, my guess is that many of my fabulous readers already know about the questions thing going on at whitehouse.gov. In case you missed it, here's some copy past from the Open for Questions site:

The White House is open for questions.
We invite you to participate in our community-moderated online town hall.

Submit your own question about the economy and vote on submissions from others. We also encourage you to include a link to a video of yourself asking your question (ideally 30 seconds or less), but text submissions are all you need. Come back on Thursday to watch the President answer some of the most popular submissions live at WhiteHouse.gov.

UPDATE: The online town hall will be at 11:30 AM Eastern, the voting will close at 9:30 AM.

Isn't that so gosh darn COOL? I mean, seriously, I think it is really great that President Obama (I love saying that) is using the public internets to listen to the proletariat. So Internet, go over there and submit your question, and be sure to vote on a few others. I will!

Awwww shucks

Don't forget to enter to win a swift and ball winder. To enter, go here.

I am just so awardy lately, you know? Jen gave me an award that says I have to quote the following:

I am passing on this award to 8 blogs that I love... These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award!

Awww, jeez Jen! I didn't know I was exceedingly charming! And although I think I know what self-aggrandizement means, I'd only use it in a sentence if I were with someone I was sure didn't know. Because it pays to have friends who are stoopider than me, I've learned this in my 34 years. Thanks Jen!

So here's my eight. I decided that I'd choose new blogs from the past memeriffic award I won, so that other blogs get to see more traffic. There are tons of great blogs out there! So readers, all five of you: Go over to these blogs and tell them how charming they are!

1. Awake in the World
Holy crap her writing is phenomenal, and I like the author as a person. ONE DAY we shall meet for our kids' play date IRL.

2. Sweet Baby Dreams
Meg is an SMC and funny as hell. She writes about all this crazy baby making stuff with humor and wit, even the awful stuff. Coolness, indeed.

3. Are You Kidding Me
Her favorite movie is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Enough said.

4. Salihan
Salihan has this cool thing on her comments where when you leave a comment it gives a link to your blog. Plus she emails a thank you when you comment, and she also has great craft projects up there AND she likes pea soup. I kinda wish I was Salihan, or at least had her manners and mad crafting skills.

5. WEBS Yarn Store Blog
All fiber, all the time. Sigh...

6. K2P2
A cutie pie new baby, a darling daughter, and a fiber artist who comes across as being so very nice. Put her in the Admire category.

7. Oriri Draco Design
Yarn porn. Serious serious yarn porn. I like how her blog makes me feel like I'm part of the dying process, like I have this window into her secrets.

8. JesseCreations
She crochets - WOOT - and she was my swap partner last month, which totally makes her charming and friendly.

GIVEAWAY: Ball & Swift Winder

Hey all you crafty readers out there! If you are like me, you have a hank or two laying around, just waiting for an unsuspecting family member to "offer" to help you wind it into a ball. I mean, seriously, who cares if their arms cramp, if their legs get tired, or if they complain that the back of a chair would work just as well. I mean, don't they understand? There is important crafting to be done! They should feel honored.

But, alas, not everyone gets it, and some people can get downright ugly about doing their yarn duty. The good people over at WEBS feel their pain and want to give your beloveds a break with this swift and ball winder! The luckiest lucky duck who wins will be able to make balls to their heart's content, whenever the mood hits. And the best part? The best part is that this is JUST IN TIME FOR FIBER FESTIVAL SEASON.

Are you drooling yet? I am.

To give you a better idea of the awesomeness of this giveaway, I've copied from the WEBS site:

Webs Plastic and Metal Swift and Ball Winder Combo

The swift is sturdy and lightweight and opens to 60". It can hold skeins up to one pound. The clamp at the base allows it to be easily attached to a table edge or shelf and can pivot for use at any angle. The ball winder will create 4 oz. center pull balls. Separately, the swift retails for $39.50 and the ball winder for $39.50.

This time around (and in the future), there are more ways to enter the giveaway. I'll always have more than one way to enter, but to keep tracking easier I'll be picking and choosing entry options from this list. (Please comment on that post with your contest entry ideas!) I'll be keeping a spreadsheet of entries and will use the random number generator to choose a winner.

The giveaway will end on April 3, 2009. You can enter whether you are in Chicago or in the Himalayas. Make sure to leave either your blog URL or an email in your comment, so that I know how to reach you.

To enter the giveaway:

One entry:

* Leave a comment on this post.

Two entries:

* Add Musings to your reader and leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.

* Visit WEBS and browse. Pick out your favorite yarn and comment on it in the comments section of this blog.

Three entries:

* Visit The Yarn Blog and leave a comment, then leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.

* Add this giveaway to Digg, StumbleUpon or Delicious or the social networking site of your choice, then leave a comment saying you have done so. A tip: SocialMarker.com will let you add this to several different social media sites at once. Three entries will be given per site.

* Blog about this contest with a link back to this post, and leave a comment saying that you have done so with a link to your blog.

IComLeavWe: The March Edition

Welcome ICLWers, welcome! Welcome to my little niche in the blogosphere. I hope you enjoy your time here. Last month I gave some info about me, as well as some links to even more information about me. Seeing as how all that isn't nearly enough navel gazing, I give you this:

* I decided to become a single mom at the age of 31, and started this journey in earnest back in April or May of 2008.

* I have had 3 cycles on Clomid, then 2 injectable cycles. 2 of those cycles have been cancelled, and this cycle I'm current doing is totally up for grabs.

* I have ingested, injected and/or inserted the following into my body: Prenatal vitamins, false unicorn horn, folic acid, DHA, DHEA, Metformin, Clomid, Ovidrel, Progesterone, Follistim, Repronex and Menopur.

* I am beginning to think that my uterus is afraid of change. I would blame Freyja and Thor for their unfailing inability to ovulate properly. However, in looking more closely at the situation, I have become convinced that my uterus is having secret conversations with my ovaries, leading them to rebel against all that is good, holy and fertile in this world. DAMN THOSE ORGANS!

* The rest of me, as you might have guessed, is on an emotional rollercoaster. Getting off the Clomid helped, and switching from Repronex to Menopur also helped. It's been touch and go. I'm grateful to the IF blogosphere and the Choice Moms Yahoo! group. Not only have I made some great friends - friends who get it - but I've also gotten great advice.

* If you would be so kind, help me get through fertility treatment hell by providing a recipe for a BFNtini.

* I do monthly giveaways, and the next one begins on March 23. Please take a look at ideas for how they should be done and let me know what you think. If you have ideas for improvements not listed on the post, please include them in your comments. And don't forget to enter!!!!

That is all. Again, welcome all you ICLWers, and be sure to leave the link to your blog in your comments! And readers, be sure to click over to the other blogs and give them a little love.

Perversions

Ok, I can honestly say that I. Have. Now. Seen. It. All. on the intertubes:

Ravelry / Bunker Controversy

Given the current state of my emotions, I rather enjoyed reading the comments (didn't even read the original post, if there was one). It certainly shed light on how the interwebs bring out - as Tasha mentioned - the dickwad in an otherwise normal person. I just have to shake my head in a kind of wide-eyed, disbelieving, baffled confusion over how a KNIT AND CROCHET site could end up with this much controversy? And mulitple mentions of a legal department? And several references to Obama=Hitler? On Ravelry? Because we know how crazy those knitters and crocheters can get.

I think we now have our answer: No, little Janey, we can't all just get along.

I attribute my fascination with this uselessness to all the hormones I've purchased and injected into myself. Lately I've been... how shall I say... a different kind of Fat Chick. In fact, rather than seeing life full of bunnies and unicorns, I've been spending my lunch hour shooting them. And throwing hand grenades. While laughing in this high-pitched maniacal cackle that makes my coworkers nervous. Activities such as these may harm my soul and limit my capacity for good - and I really do believe this, it's why I don't go to violent movies - at this moment in time I honestly couldn't give a rat's ass. I am injecting pee into myself, and dammit, I'll revel in misery as much as I like, thank you very much. Hmph.

BFNtini recipes?

Has anyone ever told you that the silver lining of a BFN* is flavored with vodka? And lots of it? Well, last week I posted on the single mom's group for recipes for a BFNtini and got some pretty good ideas. So I thought that I'd widen the audience a little, and ask my dear readers for suggestions. The only requirement for the BFNtini is that it's a girly-girl drink, and STRONG. Like STRONG in all caps, not for the weak amongst us, you know?

So in your comments, please give recipes or links to recipes for the best drink for "celebrating" one's ability to drink... again. Once I figure out a winner, I'll share the goods.

*Note for those lucky enough that they don't know what a BFN is: It is a Big Fat/Fucking Negative, meaning there's only one line on that damn pregnancy test.

And hey! That's my picture up there, from my Flickr.

I've been wondering

What is an Ide? And why are the Ides of March so important, other than because (for me) they mean SPRING has almost sprung.

Has the groundhog ever not seen it's shadow?

What, exactly, is an isobar, and why does Tom Skilling care so much about them?

Special hugs, schizophrenia and speculum

When my mom sat me down to discuss the birds and the bees, she never once mentioned speculum (speculi?) and motility rates, you know? She talked about all these things that have nothing to do with my brand of baby-making, like "special hugs" and mommies and daddies who not only had met in real life, but had also enjoyed those "special hugs." I've never hugged a speculum, and can I just tell you that it kinda bugs that all these people have seen my cervix and I haven't? I think I'm going to bring a couple of mirrors to the next insemination.

And speaking of insemination, I have been having some doubts about AJ's ability to get the job done. TWICE he has failed me, TWICE. So I went on the SMC equivalent of a man-hunt (read: I downloaded online catalogs from a couple of sperm banks), only to realize that AJ is The One: He is the only identity-release donor that doesn't have a family history involving twelve types of cancer, schizophrenia, manic depression, alcoholism and his essay doesn't refer to money and eugenics as primary motivators for spreading his seed, as it were. Oh, and he's tall and skinny, which is necessary to combat my short fat genes. Sigh.

So I called up the Bank of Squirm and asked how many pregnancies had been reported. Four. And births? One.

I had to know, I just had to know if there were any births. I knew that back in November there were two pregnancies reported. It's important, because 1) I needed to know how many jars o' juice were available, because I'm about ready to go on a special shopping spree, and 2) the Bank of Squirm will only allow 10 families to be created from one donor, and 3) there is this nagging suspicion that maybe, just maybe, it's me. Not AJ. I mean, AJ didn't have to inject pee into himself to get the gametes going, you know?

And I asked, but they couldn't tell me the number of attempts the other women took to get pregnant. And they couldn't tell me ages or what the women did to get pregnant, like if they sacrificed a goat or stood on their head or purchased homing devices on eBay. I find it exciting - thrilling, even - that there are other births, but... now I'm back to wishing I hadn't asked. I didn't really need to know, at least not right now. Sigh.

[Thanks for the picture, eyesnightclosed!]

Occupation 101

On Saturday, a friend and I went to a screening of Occupation 101 out in the 'burbs. When A invited me, I jumped all over it. You see, I worry quite a bit about brainwashing. I'm Jewish, and most of my understanding of the Israel-Palestine conflict has come through Jewish sources. One sided, to say the least. So I was really excited to see Occupation 101, as the screening was hosted by pro-Palistine Muslims. And I was a little nervous, as I've seen - all too often - marching-in-the-street protesters throw themselves into an anti-Semitic frenzy with alarming, lustful abandon.

Jew-bashing, thankfully, did not happen. The film and discussion were balanced, and much of what I saw and heard was exactly what I've seen and heard before - from Jews and Israelis. The goal of Occupation 101 was to give a history of the Israel-Palestine conflict and to tell the story of the Palestinians who must live under occupation. These are people whose homes have been demolished, who are not given citizenship, who are denied the simple human right of walking down a road. While some of the images were difficult to bear, and the woman-on-the-street interviews were incredibly sad, this terrible suffering was related plainly, without invective or hate-mongering. The film succeeding in telling the story of the people affected by Israel's policies, what the occupation means in human terms. It was heartbreaking and honest, a fantastic documentary.


The entire video, all 1:28 of it, is below, and can also be found on Google Video. I encourage you to watch the film, I know I'll be watching it again.



[Thanks, Naughton321, for the photo!]

Starring: A DISGUSTING FAT PIG!

Dude, I totally forgot to post these! Back in the good ole days of February, I received an email letting me know all about the Rudd Center's videos. I posted the preview, and then completely forgot to post the two full-length videos. Internet, watch these. They give a pretty good idea of what I - and all the other hippos out there - go through on a daily basis.

Weight Bias in Health Care

I have experienced every single bit of nastiness in this video, from the looks of disgust to the lack of adequate health care. I'm lucky now, my PCP and RE are great. But that doesn't mean that I still don't have to advocate for myself. The last time I was at the PCP's office, the nurse used the wrong blood pressure cuff on me. Then she told me I have very high blood pressure. Internet, I knew that was crap. I've educated myself on things OBESE (let's face it, that word is screamed in your head, not read, so why not give it all caps?) people should pay careful attention to. Those blood pressure cuff things are one of them. So I asked the nurse to change to the giganormous cuff, no biggie, right? She said it was stuck, and it doesn't make a difference anyway. Needless to say, when my lovely PCP came into the room, the first thing we did was change that cuff and determine that my blood pressure is, actually, a little low (as usual). And that is the kind of thing that happens All. The. Time. for me and people like me.



Weight Bias in Home and School

Did I ever tell you why I won't wear a purple outfit? When I was in 4th grade, we read a story about a purple cow. It just so happened that I was wearing a purple outfit at the time, and wow the teasing just never stopped. Especially after Mrs. Doyne found out. She thought it was very clever of the other students, just hysterical. Of course, these were the same students eating glue, but at the time I didn't make that connection.

And people wonder why I want to homeschool my kids? Why the hell would I want to feed my kids to wolves, or - God forbid - encourage them to become wolves so that they are not victimized? No. Way. In. Hell.

The last thing I have to say about this: People who hate me because I'm fat can suck it. I wish I lived in a more accepting society, one that didn't encourage and reward hatred against a group - any group - of people. But I do what I can, and I'm not a victim. I LIVE my life, and those ASSHATS who have so much misery inside them that they need to vent it on me? Well, like I said: YOU CAN SUCK IT!

Giveaway feedback request and updates

Mark your calendars, boys and girls! The next giveaway is going to be a whole lot of awesome from WEBS. It will begin on March 23, and a great big hearty thank you goes out to the generous people at WEBS. Internet, go on over to the Yarn Store Blog and tell them how much we love them.

And Internet, thank you so much for entering my little giveaways. It's been lots of fun! And many thanks to everyone who has emailed me their thoughts on how future giveaways should be done - I'm new to this, and so I really appreciate the feedback. I've collated the ideas, as well as found a few more here and there, and would like to know: What do you think? I'm happy to change the giveaways in whatever way makes sense to all of you out there, with just one caveat: I only have so many hours in a day to figure out who has how many entries. So would choosing a few of these entry options per giveaway work? And I'd change them every time? Please let me know what you think, and if you have other ideas for future giveaways, please leave them in your comments.

One entry:

Leave a comment on this post.

Two entries:

* Follow [me / sponsor] on Twitter and leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.
* Follow [this / sponsor's] blog and leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.
* Add [this / sponsor's] blog to your reader and leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.
* Favorite [this or sponsor's] blog in Technorati and leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.
* Visit [the sponsor's store] and browse. Pick out [an object] and comment on it in the comments section of this blog.
* If you are already a blog/Twitter follower, have added [Musings / sponsor's blog] to your reader, and/or favorited [this blog / sponsor's blog] on Technorati, then include that in your comment for extra entries.
* Twitter or Plurk this giveaway and leave a comment saying you have done so.

Three entries:

* Add this giveaway to Digg, StumbleUpon, Delicious, Facebook or the social networking site of your choice, then leave a comment saying you have done so. A tip: SocialMarker.com will let you add this to several different social media sites at once.
* Blog about this contest with a link back to this post, and leave a comment saying that you have done so.
* Add yourself to the sponsor's [email / newsletter] list, and leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.
* Visit sponsor's blog and leave a comment, then leave a comment on this post saying that you have done so.

And last but not least, here are what some previous winnerific winners are saying about their fabulous prizes:

Valerie over at Sweeps4Bloggers won one of the sets of stitchmarkers. She said:

Hi Shannon -
Thanks so much for the prize I won on your blog!!! The stitchmarkers are beautiful - even prettier in person than they were in the picture. I will be giving them to a friend and I'm sure she is going to love them :)
Thanks for doing the giveaway - I'm enjoying your blog!
Valerieeeeeeeeee

Darcie won the other set of stitchmarkers, and she blogged about them here. I have a quick snippet from her post:

Thank you for the wonderful stitch markers they are truly lovely:)

Behold my awesomeness

Hey Internet, I've won a major award! A major award, I tell you! A major award! Ok, so it's not a leg lamp, but if you say it right, it sounds like Honest Crap, and that makes it COOL.



This, despite all the lying lying lyariffic lies that come shooting out my bunghole during tax season.

So. As I was saying. Like any major award, The Honest Scrap Award has rules. As the illustrious award-granter (awarder?) Awake in the World states, it is now my solemn duty to choose a minimum of 7 - count em, SEVEN - blogs that are deserving of such prestige, then link to them and leave a comment on their blogs notifying them of their splendiferousness. And if that isn't a word, it should be, so there.

1. No Yolk
2. A certain sister's blog. I don't think she'd like me to link to it, though.
3. Soulbliss
4. Little Bluebirds Fly
5. Baby For 1
6. On 2 Plan B
7. The Frizzy Hooker

And, the last rule is that I have to tell 10 things about myself, and they have to be honest (dammit). This is a tough one - after the 27 things post, and then IComLeavWe, hell if there is anything else to say about me.

1. I'm 5'6", which makes me the tallest girl in my maternal line.
2. I almost puked in an outhouse once. I was so grossed out at the thought that I ran outside and initiated the bushes instead. I do believe it was the most disgusting travel experience I've ever had.
3. Prior to that fateful experience at El Lago Titicaca, the most disgusting travel experience I'd ever had was a tie. The first option involved my clumsiness getting up close and personal with a gutter in Calcutta. The second involved a train station bathroom. Yes, a pattern is emerging here.
4. I like to say Lake TITICACA a lot. In fact, whenever I talk about Peru, I always mention that I visited Lake TITICACA. Just so that I can say Lake TITICACA in polite company.
5. I don't like beer, unless it's Berry Weiss. My lord, those go down a little too easy.
6. I was once told by an HR director to "suboptimize," which translated into fatspeak is to act stoopid. Apparently, I was intimidating my manager. So now I say dude and like a lot at work.
7. I couldn't care less about proper spelling and grammar. This gets me into trouble sometimes. I don't care about that, either.

Shit, three more to go.

8. There is a stuffed chicken on my desk. It is a chicken named Pig. If you squeeze Pig in just the right loving way, he will play the Chicken Dance and dance for you. My coworkers all love Pig.
9. When Susan died, I bought Pig a third-class class ticket (read: a box) to Milwaukee to cheer up my coworkers.
10. I am finally hiring someone to get that damn site designed. YIPPEE!!!